Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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