So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize
