CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Randomize
