Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
