Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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