Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
