I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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