are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
only you would photoshop your dick
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
