Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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