just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
We need to get me chipped asap
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
