Porn is love you can see.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
