I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Randomize
