Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Randomize
