i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize