the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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