shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
