Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
farters have to be the big spoon...
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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