is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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