ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize