Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
