YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
