you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
