Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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