what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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