U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
