TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
