no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
