She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
