ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
