I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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