I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Randomize
