once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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