U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
the day after is always just damage control
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
