im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
