How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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