Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
