I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
