Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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