He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
