like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
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So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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