I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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