I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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