You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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