How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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