We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
