You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
