She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize