wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
