I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Are these your boobs on my camera?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
