How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
