I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Someone shit on the floor
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize