id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
cat food counts as protein by the way
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
