I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
