Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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