Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
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i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
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I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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