No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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