does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
