Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
